It’s no secret Gordon Ryan lays his online persona thick in hope of securing a next big money fight. But now plenty of people have started to see humor in his ways – among them EBI competitor Daniel Strauss.
Here’s what he wrote in a touching paragraph included essay:
A day in the life…
Jiu jitsu prodigy Gordon Ryan lies in slumber. But he is restless. He violently twitches and turn in his sleep, his closed eyes squint and flutter. All of a sudden he wakes and gasps, sitting bolt upright in bed. His breath heavy, panting, a cold sweat covers his entire body and face. Slowly as he begins to come to, a nightmare? But it was so realistic. The same nightmare he’s had many nights before: he was no longer king. As cognitive function begins to return and his breathing begins to slow he lunges onto his stomach, his long arms reach down the side of his bed, he gently fingers his plastic burger king crown and finally he can fully relax, he lets out a big sigh and speaks softly to himself under his breath “I am still the king”, the phrase sounds well rehearsed, a ritual it seems.
He grabs his plastic crown and places it on his head. As any doubt brought upon by this nightmare subsides he sits up proudly in bed. His stomach rumbles, he looks at the clock. Breakfast time he concludes; “MUUUUUMMMMM” he shouts “THE KING IS HUNGRY. HE WANTS SOME BACON”. He doesn’t expect a response of recognition, he knows the king always gets what he wants.
As most do upon waking he reaches for his phone. He logs onto Facebook and scrolls down his feed. He spots an advertised interview with UFC superstar Conor McGregor, he comments underneath “I am the first UFC two division title holder!!!” as he presses enter the corner of his mouth twitches, a subtle and quick but visible smirk.
After a few more minutes of scrolling through repetitive Facebook post Gordon grows bored. He clicks on his Facebook search bar, but the profile he’s looking for is already there, in his recent searches. He clicks on the icon labeled Dillion Dannis.
He begins to tap away at his iPhone keyboard but suddenly his fingers freeze. He remembers the words of his instructor and mentor John Danaher; “This business with Marcelos students needs to stop….”. Gordon can hear the remainder of Johns telling off in his head, 5 mins worth, no paragraphs he recalls vividly.
“Shit” he mutters under his breath. Confused and lost for a second, his morning ritual of waking and calling out members of Marcelo Garcia’s academy to sub only no time limit matches with a 15 thousand dollar bet has become such an integral part of his day that he’s not quite sure what he should do now. His eyes drift around his room, he see’s his union jack sunglasses atop his chest of drawers. He has fond memories of his time spent in Great Britain. But it was bitter sweet, he remembers the grievances that clouded his trip. Though he told not a soul, he was sick and tired of Garry always being the star of the show in England. Having competed and excelled in every series of Polaris thus far, the UKs premier BJJ show.
He clenches his fist at the memory. He even recalls wearing his burger king crown everywhere he went in an attempt to draw attention and keep the spot light on himself, despite supposedly only being there to support his friend and training partner. As he continues to relieve the experience he becomes overwhelmed with emotion, he reaches up to his crown, grasping strongly in a fist he screams “I. AM. THE. KING!!!!” and dashes the crown across his bedroom. It bounces off the window and rolls to a stop on the floor. Thankfully its plastic or it could of done some serious damage. A few seconds pass and the cloud of rage begins to dissipate. His fist unclenches and he rushes over to his crown, he inspects the rim carefully for any sign of damage. None. He is relieved. He holds the crown close to his heart for a brief moment. Before placing it back a top his head. He takes a deep breath in and exhales slowly. He does this 2 more times.
With his composure returned he begins to ponder. Still vexed about his “England predicament”, he racks his brain attempting to find a solution. “How can I get more attention in the UK without having to actually do anything” he grumbles to himself. After a few minutes suddenly his head snaps upright, and his face lights up. He has an idea. He grabs his phone, clicks back into Facebook, clicks on his own profile. And begins to type….
