Recently, an anonymous letter from a transgender athlete who trains in BJJ has shed light on a deeply personal journey…
One filled with struggle, resilience, and a deep love for grappling.

In the letter, the author reflects on her early life, grappling journey, and the challenges she faces as a transgender woman in a sport she cherishes.

Growing up in North Carolina and later moving to Oklahoma, she found solace in wrestling at the age of 7 during a tumultuous childhood:

When I was 7 my home life got awful, my stepfather made us fear for everything, so I built up a shell and hid. I even went to wrestling practice the first time that year.

There I found something I didn’t think I’d ever find.

Wrestling became not only a sport but a refuge – a way to cope with the pressures of her environment and societal expectations.

The letter details her journey of self-discovery, sharing the moment she realized she was transgender at 16 years old:

I was assigned male at my birth, but I am not who my body may have to lead you to think I am; I am a woman, I use female pronouns she, her, and hers.

Transitioning, both socially and medically, brought its own set of challenges.
She began her medical transition at 19, taking estradiol and spironolactone, which brought significant physical changes:

In the 9 months since taking them the most notable effects for me have been my drop in weight, loss of muscle mass, loss of some bone density, wider hips, breast growth, and softer skin.

Despite her love for grappling, the author acknowledges the difficulties she faces in the martial arts community.

From questioning her identity to feeling excluded, she has experienced both the highs of training and the lows of misunderstanding.
Yet, her love for grappling remains steadfast.

She struggles with competing as well:

It’s going to be some time till my hormone levels will be in a consistent range that I would be allowed to compete in the female division, so “x” gender competitions is something I look forward to seeing someday as an option for not only people like me to compete in without stigma, but anyone can test themselves against anyone willing.

To read the full letter and gain deeper insights into her experience, follow this link.