Purple belt athlete and firefighter Sirena Allen-De Guzman recently opened up about her experience being groomed by her Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu coach as a teenager, and how the fallout shaped her path in the sport.

Allen-De Guzman began training at age 15 after switching to online schooling.
But what started as mentorship from one of the coaches soon spiralled into something far more manipulative:

I had a bit of an unfortunate situation when I was 15.
I had a coach who was really involved in my world in a way that initially seemed very beneficial, and by the time that I was 17, I was dating my 40-something-year-old Jiu-Jitsu coach.

It began subtly — rides home from training, frequent conversations, and seemingly supportive attention that slowly crossed personal boundaries.
In hindsight, these were the early signs of grooming, i.e. the use of authority & trust to manipulate a much younger student.

When their relationship eventually came to light, the gym’s leadership asked the coach to leave. But instead of taking responsibility, he retaliated against Allen-De Guzman and tried to cut her off from the sport she loved, telling her:

I’m not allowed to train, so you’re not allowed to train.

With no other ties to the wider Jiu-Jitsu community, Allen-De Guzman left the sport entirely.
What followed was years of isolation — from both the mats and her own sense of self.

The relationship continued beyond the gym walls, becoming increasingly toxic:

There were a lot of red flags around controlling money, controlling who I talked to…
I was cut off from friends and cut off from family.

It very much was a textbook kind of coercive relationship by the time it came to a close.

The breaking point came when she chose to attend a work function he had forbidden:

It made me realize that I was in this relationship where I couldn’t make a decision like going to a work function without having to deal with the fallout.

After finally ending the relationship, Allen-De Guzman stayed away from Jiu-Jitsu for nearly five years:

I had a lot of guilt…
Would people look at me differently if they knew about this situation?

Fortunately, when she returned, she found a more welcoming and understanding environment.
Her current coach has helped her rebuild confidence and rediscover her place in the sport, telling her:

Don’t sell yourself short.
We’ll develop your skills until you feel like you have earned that blue belt again.

Build Sustainable Strength—Without Wrecking Your Joints, Energy, or Jiu-Jitsu

Tired of waking up sore and burnt out after lifting? Sloth Strength is a proven blueprint for grapplers over 35 who want to get stronger—without the pain, burnout, or injuries.

Developed from 25 years on the mats, this no-burnout approach is made specifically for BJJ athletes in their 30s, 40s, and beyond.