There are different approaches to starting bjj, some are researched while others are somewhat blind but no matter what the expectations might be when we get down and dirty the picture rapidly changes and camaraderie forms on bonds of body fluid exchange!
To those who don’t start blind cauliflower ears often seem like the toughest fight to overcome but in reality there’s plenty of worse outcomes…
Farting is fairly mortifying, especially in gyms that don’t play music while you roll. It all depends upon the crowd but that one moment of flatulence can cost you all the cool credit.
Getting “Oil Checked”
The “b*tt drag” or “oil check” is a legit move in wrestling. For those that don’t know, an “oil check” is when one stick their finger(s) in their opponent’s b*tt to gain a positional advantage.
It is very common in Wrestling but there was a case of a seventeen-year-old wrestler, Jerome Hunt who faced 21 counts of r*pe and attempted r*pe for repeated ‘oil checks’ during wrestling practice. Hunt’s lawyer Mike Butler claimed the complaints came from fellow Parker wrestlers who were simply victims of a legitimate wrestling move.
The move is legal in BJJ (under IBJJF rules).
Check out this oil check submission in a BJJ tournament in Russia.
In this case the guy who was oil checked, panicked and tapped as the finger(s) was inserted in his b*tt from North South at 1:20 and looks very embarrassed afterwards.
The ‘Oil Checker’ in question, Alexander F. , answering to criticism, stated:
Show me in the rules where it’s said that this move is illegal , now it’s new school of bjj!
Sh*ting yourself during a roll.
Don’t wear a white gi!
Not washing your belt
There’s the old belt myth. Not washing your belt will not harness the power any universe however it can harness transference of fecal matter and other disgusting bacteria.. And of course the fun doesn’t stop there, you can always do the gauntlet with a less than savory belt and introduce it all directly to your open wounds!
And once you get bitten by the bjj bug there’s a possibility you might get choked out. Being choked out is usually accompanied by snoring. Your body will make these horrible wood-sawing kind of snores that everyone in the room is likely to hear. On the bright side, at least you won’t be mentally present to be horrified as it happens.
BJJ people going to the toilet barefoot and then going back on the mat…
Ripping out chest hair is kind of benevolent. The price exerted for not wearing a rashguard is somewhat deserved but that doesn’t make it any more pleasant for either party!
Of course if you do the knee on belly just right you can provide small amounts of vomit from the unlucky recipient…
You can also pee on yourself from exertion as this young wrestler did. Kaori Icho of Japan made the Finnish competitor Olli Petra urinate herself when she got the double leg takedown at the World Cup Finals!! (video below)
As if that wasn’t enough there’s always that magical moment when you’re playing guard and a drop of sweat from your opponent falls straight into your mouth. Barely anything ever beats the sour taste of hard work.
It depends on the individual but aiming the eye or the mouth is usually one of the grossest things to take place in the bjj gym.
Which bjj nightmare takes the cake for you?
5x world champion Bernardo Faria, has released his Foundations of Brazilian Jiu Jitsu which will give you the best solid foundation for your game at any level and give you plenty of new material to work on. Check it out at BJJ Fanatics!