Training Brazilian Jiu Jitsu is not only a great way for getting into shape, learning cool techniques and for falling in love with the martial art altogether. It’s also a fantastic way to meet cool people! Your training partners will, more often than not, have a great deal in common with you. And, just as they became your friends on the mats, chances are that you’ll be hanging out with them outside of BJJ practice as well.
But, what if – along the way – you meet a person from the opposite gender on the mats and… Well, you develop a crush on them?
It’s all good. Just keep these things in mind.
THERE’S NOTHING WRONG WITH HAVING A CRUSH ON A BJJ TEAMMATE
First of all, don’t let the guilt train hit you. You’re both training the same martial art; so, you spend lots of time together, and if they’re attractive to you physically and/or mentally, it’s not a weird thing to develop feelings for them.
You might’ve heard a story or two about this sort of a thing being despised in the BJJ community. But that’s not actually the case. The case in those regards was – and almost always is – that one person was a creep, obnoxious or straight up idiotic in their behavior towards the other side.
So, to keep it short: you shouldn’t feel bad about having a crush on your BJJ teammate. You just have to make sure that you’re behaving properly.
DON’T BE A CREEP, OBNOXIOUS OR IDIOTIC
This tip goes out especially to the male athletes. Keep in mind that the woman you’re having a crush on has probably had – like most women do – a hard time starting Jiu Jitsu. It takes much more convincing and self-brainwashing to try it out and continue than it does for the guys, and you have to respect that.
Keeping that in mind, as well as the fact that BJJ is a sport with physical contact, make it a rule to always be polite to your crush.
What does this mean? It means:
1) No flirting while training. Especially not during a live roll.
2) No sexual comments. Not even if the two of you get into a relationship – mats are for training.
3) No inappropriate touches. Accidents happen, that’s normal – but if you do it on purpose, you deserve to be kicked out of the academy.
4) Treating them just the same as you treat others on the mats; with friendly respect, rolling when asked and agreed, appreciating both victory and defeat.
WANT TO ASK THEM OUT?
If you’re respectful and polite on the mats, then there’s absolutely no reason why you shouldn’t ask them out on a date. However, make sure that you do this off the mats. This is because, if they decline, then the whole experience doesn’t have to stay „attached“ to the notion of BJJ. In other words, you’ll have a much better chance of things staying (potentially) awkward off the mats; while on the mats, you’re going to stay training partners.
Other than that, how you react to their response and to how your likely date(s) go forth is the most crucial thing. If it doesn’t go your way and they don’t want to have anything to do with you, don’t make a big deal out of it.
If you make a fuss out of it, you will not only ruin any chance you may have with that person; but you won’t have a good time being in the academy either.
And let’s face it – Brazilian Jiu Jitsu is much, much more important than getting that date.