Refusing to roll with women in Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu can be perceived as rude, depending on the context and the manner in which it’s done.
In BJJ, respect and inclusivity are important values. If your refusal is based on gender alone, it might be seen as discriminatory and disrespectful. However, if there are legitimate reasons like significant size differences, injury concerns, religion, or personal comfort levels, it’s generally acceptable to politely decline.
The key is to communicate your reasons respectfully and consider the gym culture and the individual’s feelings. Remember, everyone is there to learn and improve.
If you need to decline a sparring session, whether it’s with a man or a woman, a polite way to handle it is to say, “I’m sorry, I’m not comfortable rolling right now. My apologies.” It’s a respectful approach.
It’s also a good idea to inform your coach in advance if you’re uncomfortable rolling with women. Just explain, “I’m not yet comfortable rolling with women, so I might have to decline if asked.” This way, your coach is aware and can understand your position.
Over time, as you get used to the close contact in sparring, you’ll likely find it becomes a normal part of training, and you’ll feel more at ease both with the physical proximity and your fellow practitioners.
