How to be a jerk in Jiu-Jitsu (Please don’t be one)

There are certain behaviors and attitudes that I really dislike from training partners in Jiu-Jitsu. I was reading an article with a top 10 list. I decided to make my own.

1.Celebrating after you tap someone in training
I find both it both childish and disrespectful for a training partner to celebrate with a “Yes!!” or “Yeah baby, Whatsup???” after they’ve tapped someone in live sparring during BJJ training.

2. Getting pissed after being submitted and coming back 3 times more agressive
That is just as bad as the one before

3. The “let’s go light” fallacy 
If you say “let’s go light” than let’s really go light

4. The guy asking you if you tapped the training partner you rolled with before.
Sparing is sparing and should not be considered like a proper fight. “Who tapped who” is for kids.

5. Pushing up on your opponent’s nose with your wrist/hand
To open open up his neck when he tucks his chin in protecting the choke. That’s comp legal but would you really want to do that in training?

Here is a similar list that I found in an article in http://parttimegrappler.blogspot.com

 8.   Nose compressions
You can’t find my gi lapel or neck to choke me? Oh please face bar me with your forearms across my nose. I don’t mind. It is after all a contact sport and I am a MAN.

You noob rash!

7.    Knee-on-throat
Knee-on-belly’s ugly(er) twin. When you’re KOB is getting threatened, you can switch to the other leg and simply place it on their pectoral muscle (chest) so why do some people choose to put it instead across the throat or even the head (also known as the Skull Ride)? Chest Ride has the same effect and in fact it facilitates sliding across your opponent’s biceps better than the other methods.

6.     Never, ever wash your gi
Come here and give me a good ol’ 6 minute hug you big stink bear you!

5.     Nail scratch
Your nails. The nail clipper. They should meet.

4.     Triangle-fartbar
This, thankfully, is a figment of my imagination. I have seen people get tapped with a triangle, and I’ve heard / smelled a fart or two on the mat over the years, but thankfully I’ve never heard of the two happening at the same time. Don’t do it. There will be consequences.

3.     Elbow-point to the spine in order to open turtle
BJJ players turtle up to avoid getting their guard passed. They sometimes stay longer in a turtled position because they are trying to figure out a way to get back into the game. None of the above is sin or an insult to you or your family so please learn how to break the turtle down without resorting to sharp, pointy elbows in the spine, you douche-bag.

2.     240 deg heel-hooks
No, this is not the UFC you are not Paul Harris (in all fairness, neither is he!) so feel free to get into position for a heel hook but since no money is riding on me tapping, don’t finish it with any vigour. I can hop pretty fast so if you hurt my knee I will catch you and choke you out, cover you in syrup and throw you on an anthill.

1.     Show up with ringworm
The ultimate sin. Yes It’s worse than getting heel hooked because you can’t tap. If I ever see you rolling on the same mat as me with ringworm, I will call you out, shout at you and make sure you leave the mat immediately! Never ever mess with ringworm!”

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