Losing a loved one is always devastating. And it’s not easy to come to terms with it, especially if it was someone really close to you. It can take months and even years before you, at least for the most part, get back to feeling okay.
But if you’re training Brazilian Jiu Jitsu, you should be aware that the Gentle Art can help you with your loss. Here are two ways how.
GIVE YOURSELF SOME TIME AFTER LOSING A LOVED PERSON
But before you take BJJ into consideration, remember to give yourself some time first. Let yourself mourn and to be sad. That is, don’t force yourself to come back to training; not because out of obligation, nor because you know that it will help you in dealing with loss.
Jiu Jitsu will help you, that’s for sure. But you need to help yourself first. Don’t rush things; when you feel that the time is right, when you feel like you want to go, and that you can find some solace on the mats – that’s the moment when you should begin with BJJ again. Until then, take a pause. For however long that you may need.
Similarly, if you return to training and feel that you should pause a bit here and there, do so. Jiu Jitsu is there for you, whenever you want it to be.
Be kind to yourself first, and only then return to BJJ’s loving arms.
A WELCOME DISTRACTION
One of the kindest ways that BJJ can help you in dealing with the loss of a loved person, is by providing you with something to focus on. In other words, it’s a form of a welcome distraction; a place where you can think about something else.
You know how it is. When you drill techniques, setups, and sequences, all of your focus needs to be on the movement at hand in order to perform it well enough. When you roll – especially if it’s a really tough and engaging roll – you’re incapable of thinking about anything else other than, well, getting through the round with more or less success.
Essentially, Brazilian Jiu Jitsu is a form of meditation in many regards. Your mind is clear of thoughts, as it is (together with the body) focused only on the task at hand.
Those two hours or so, that you spend on the mats training, will be a distraction from the thoughts that are usually weighing you down. Welcome it.
COMFORT FROM YOUR FRIENDS
What would Jiu Jitsu be without your training partners, your friends? The community that’s built in the academy is often one of the tightest ones in the Jiujiteiro’s life; a lot of these friendships last for a long time, and some of the life’s best friends are found there.
When you lose a loved one, it’s a good idea to surround yourself with people who love and support you. The people you can confide in, who know about and want to help you with your pain… And some of your training partners, you can be sure, are these type of people; and they’re there for you right now.
KEEPS YOU HEALTHY
It’s so, so easy to neglect oneself after a loss. To forego with physical and mental health alike. But you must not allow this; you have to keep yourself as healthy as you can – you owe that to yourself.
Training Brazilian Jiu Jitsu will help you preserve your immune system. It will keep you away from depression. It shall make sleep easier at night.
And importantly, it will make sure that you keep going.