BJJ Is Like A Relationship – You Need Discipline To Make It Work

BJJ Is Like A Relationship – You Need Discipline To Make It Work

Whether you’ve been training BJJ for quite a while or started out with it just recently, one thing is for certain: after some time, you’ll see your motivation for Jiu Jitsu dwindling down. You may start contemplating if something is wrong with you, as you ask yourself: „I felt so motivated before… Why don’t I feel like going anymore? Is there something I can do to rejuvenate my drive?“
The thing is, however, that you’re asking yourself the wrong questions. Instead of thinking what you can do to jump-start your motivation, you should be thinking of what you can do to improve your discipline – as it is the case in a relationship.



Just think back to the most recent relationship you had, or still have, with a significant other. How was it at the beginning, when you first fell in love? You were on cloud nine – everything was perfect and you felt like you could move mountains. All things were done effortlessly, and going out with them felt like the easiest and the most wonderful thing in the whole wide world.

However, after a while, those same things that once made you feel ecstatic have become, well, kind of mundane. You start finding faults in the other side’s, as well as your own, behavior; some of the times, there are fights and quarrels that make you reconsider the relationship as a whole.
But despite all of that… Despite the days you don’t feel like continuing on and despite the occasional (and sometimes quite long-lasting) periods of sadness and anger, you carry on. You talk it out with your partner and you find ways to make things work for both of you. You persevere in spite of the bad days, weeks and months; and you make the relationship stronger.

Basically, when you’re with someone who you really care about – who you truly love – you don’t wait around for the „good feelings“ to show themselves up. Instead, you decide to do the things that will reinforce the relationship with the other person and make you love them even more; no matter how you feel like in the moment, you do the things which need to be done.
It’s the same thing with training.



There will be a lot of times when you won’t feel like training Jiu Jitsu at all. Sometimes, it’s the life’s circumstances that will make you feel depleted; whereas other times, there won’t be any concrete reason behind it. However, if you truly care for BJJ – if it’s something which you feel is making you into a better and happier person – then you shouldn’t be searching for the motivation to train. You need to build discipline.

Discipline! You need to learn how to pack your Gi and head to the gym when you least want to go. To practice the techniques your coach showed you, when all you want to do is just drill the moves you’ve done a million times. To roll with focus and intensity, even when you’d like to sit down for a rest round.
In simple terms: it does not matter how you feel like in the moment. If BJJ is something you care about – something you truly love – then don’t wait to feel good about going to training. Just tie your belt and step on the mats.

Do it, every day. Strengthen your resolve to make Jiu Jitsu a part of who you are even when you don’t want to think about it. And guess what: sooner than later, you will feel yourself walking on cloud nine yet again.