John Oliver did an exciting segment last night on his shows “Last Week Tonight with John Oliver” dedicated to the systematic effect Doping is having on Sport, Athletes and specifically Rio Olympics 2016. {warning NSFW}

While systematic abuse is a big problem we turn to the most ridiculous answers athletes have had to positive doping results.

7. Frank Mir blamed Kangoroo meat for testing postive for Testosterone (Transcript Bloody Elbow):

“I couldn’t tell you a single restaurant I remember eating at. I even remember calling James and saying ‘do you remember where we ate?’ I had to write down all of the places we went. And even if I could figure it out; let’s say someone could document where I went. You’re telling me USADA are gonna go down, and, on my behalf, try to test all the different meats to see if, well, you know, kanagaroos are wild and this guy wanted to beef em’ up so he bought something that was very abudnant – in the study that I did – oral turinabol could be bought in powdered form.

6. Back in 2014 , Braulio Estima had a challenging year. Estima was found with the presence of Methylhexaneamine, suspended and stripped of a gold medal in the medium-heavy division. So what is Methylhexaneamine? Short answer: it’s chemically related to amphetamines. The only trouble with it is that it’s become a popular dietary supplement and is found in strength-conditioning and powder drinks so you might be actually taking it without your knowledge.

5. Felipe Pena also had a troubling 2014.

Felipe Pena known as ‘Preguica’ had tested positive for testosterone and accepted a one-year sanction for his doping offense:

Pena claimed that Testosterone cream is the cause. After a thorough review of the case, USADA accepted Pena’s explanation that his positive test was caused by his use of a testosterone cream provided to him by a healthcare provider.

4. Way back in 2013, Gabi Garcia was found not at fault for the presence of Clomiphene and lost a gold medal in the black belt open class and a silver one in the heavyweight division. Her excuse? She was allegedly taking it as a fertility drug. At the ripe old age of 27.

3. After an intense fight against Josh Burkman at UFC 182, Hector Lombard failed his post-fight drug test. His story involves being peer pressured, while having the flue, into taking mystery pills. Lombard was quite dedicated to this version of the story and even ended up submitting texts from the woman in question regarding mystery pills.

2. Chael Sonnen pleaded ignorance to a blood testosterone level 400 times larger than the legal limit several years back. He might as well have said he never noticed anything. He later claimed he suffered from hypogonadism and got a slap on the wrist with his 2500$ fine and a 6 month suspension. Lucky for him that was prior to UFC partnership with USADA

1.Anderson Silva blamed his failed PED test on an elaborate story involving Secret Thailand Sexual aid. Namely, Silva entrusted a training partner of his with his feeling regarding inadequacies in the bedroom. Afterwards they both decided that the best way to deal with those shortcomings would be to take a mystery substance obtained on the streets of Thailand. While partner in crime obtained the substance, Silva injested it and subsequently got suspended for a year. Words still out on how the mystery substance fares in the bedroom…