Guest post by Jason Bright of Genesis Jiu-Jitsu
“Excuse me, Professor, but you forgot to promote me.”
This is a sentiment I am sure most everyone has felt at one time or another throughout their jiu jitsu journey. Your hard work and sacrifice has been causally overlooked by your instructor, the person with whom you have bleed and fought on the mat with day in and day out since the beginning. How could you have been passed up but, more importantly how could the other guy have received that promotion when you are clearly better than him?
The simple truth is that this is your fault, not that of your professor’s, but strictly yours.
The biggest obstacle is often yourself. The goals you set fail commonly because of self sabotage, the match is lost because you failed to train correctly, you misstepped and fell for the trap. Now sadly, you are watching your opponent’s hand being raised. Or for this article’s sake, you are now forced to wear a belt that you have clearly outgrown, while the other guy wears one that he has no business owning.
In case you forgot, it’s your fault. The sooner one is able to embrace this realization the easier jiu jitsu will become. Be mindful though that accepting this truth and embracing this truth are two different concepts. To accept it is easy. Just nod your head, Tweet about it, post it on your Facebook or Instagram page and wait for the “likes” to roll in. Over time though this flame will be snuffed out. It will become just another quote, amidst the many, that are deemed inspirational but fail to create real action. To embrace this notion though, allows someone to differentiate themselves from the squad. This embrace creates a presence that like minded people will be attracted to and hard headed folks will shy away from.
The root of the problem is that you have given yourself much more credit than you deserve. Most often times we, as martial artists, are quick to boast about our lack of ego. Especially in jiu jitsu which has used for some time the slogan “leave your ego at the door.” I disagree. Jiu jitsu mats are populated with habitual line steppers and some of the world’s most creative trash talkers. Egos are everywhere and while I think a large ego is detrimental, a healthy ego is what keeps mats full: meaning bring your ego with you, no matter it’s size, but be prepared to have it injured.
Someone with a healthy ego will understand their talent level and will desire to improve upon their shortcomings. These are the mat rats, the guys who, after losing, are immediately reviewing how they lost, what they could have done better and how next time they can win faster and more efficiently. Healthy ego players seek to elevate the talent level of themselves and anyone else willing to make the sacrifice and work harder. Those players that have too much or too little ego are the ones that cause issues for themselves and their teammates, though. Players with too much ego are sidelined with silly injuries from not recognizing that they have been caught. These are the guys who are all too familiar with being coaxed back into reality after being choked unconscious, again. These players might injure teammates also due to sloppy technique, poor judgement or just a bad attitude. Those that do not have enough ego tap too soon, may only roll within their weight class and skill level during training times and never get themselves into scary situations which can ultimately leave them stagnant in their game.
All gyms have a mix of these players.
The first step is to determine where you fall. Are you constantly seeking feedback from instructors and training partners and then putting their suggestions into action or is your ego so inflated that you instead hand out advice on a regular basis, overlooking your own shortcomings in the process? Do you take the easy rolls on a consistent basis out of fear of a lower belt catching you or do you seek out a challenge by choosing players you know are better than you and testing your skills?
Another idea to explore is the culture of your school. Some schools base promotions on class attendance, participation in Promotion Seminars (weird, I know), belt tests and through competition results. Understand what your school values and if you are unaware you should figure it out quickly.
While it would be nice to receive a promotion based on a single competition or a class that you excelled at, competent instructors will typically base it on a longer timeline than the student realizes. Also understand that the guy who just received that promotion did not ask for it. It was earned. The instructor took note of his progress and rewarded him for it. In most cases, those that receive a promotion do not want it but, they accept it nevertheless and probably do not feel like they deserve it either. With each promotion comes a new sense of responsibility and pressure. A responsibility to represent not only your school but also the reputation of your instructor.
There are so many people that have attempted to be successful only to fail because they could not get out of their own way. Make a choice to bring your teammates up and during that process you will become better yourself. Seek out a training partner that is similar to your style and become obsessive. Form healthy rivalries that hone the skills you desire to accentuate and through the process expose your weaknesses.
Finally, understand that when you are ready the promotion will come.
